I can never seem to just, relax. Even while I'm asleep stupid shit continues to haunt me. I'm just too stressed out. Just sick off all this shit. Paying rent, bills, working a job that doesn't pay as much as it should..all I do is work. I schedule my entire life around freaking work and it is bullshit. I have a week off coming up in May and I cannot wait. I'll be spending most of it in Vegas and I'm already worrying that I'm gonna come home SO broke.

Negative bitchiness...that's all I'm drowning in and it's all my freaking fault. Sigh.

I don't know what to do. I should be asleep right now cause I have work in less than five hours but I honestly can't even do that right. I'm just thinking too much about, everything.


Steve left a few days ago. He actually came over while I was sleeping to say goodbye which was nice but bitter sweet. I thought he was leaving on the 27th not the 24th. Oh well we had some good times in the short time he was here. We did happy hour and we played video games and made pizza's and wasted time like we used to. I wish he were back for good it's nice to have your old friends to hang out with..I still don't come close to connecting with my new friends like this. Not even close.

I am hating work right now. I am not looking forward to meeting with my boss and the ER director on Friday morning. It is total bullshit. They need to stop acting like my opinion matters, cause if it did, they'd be paying me a lot more to freaking be there. waste, waste waste of time that morning will be. I am dreading fucking Friday.


Anyway, nothing else is new/going on.

Chad and I went to big boy last night and I brought my pancakes home, I don't even know why I ordered them cause I didn't freaking want them..that's about all we did. We couldn't do anything else since I woke up too late, again on my only day off this week. story of my freaking life.

I'm trying to figure out what to do for Chad's birthday. Technically the trip to Vegas is to celebrate his birthday but I have that day off so I am hoping to get to do something awesome..we'll see.

I feel like bitch slapping someone right now..not the best of moods.
i need music.